As said, I have recovered from a panic attack and bout of derealisation that I had at college. One day, the day after I had a big arguement with my friend, which eventually became personal, I could not get out of bed, felt low (and guilty, cause I thought I had upset my friend) an not myself. Eventually, it got worse, two days later I got heart palpatations, and eventually felt very very tired, as well detached, from the environment and my own body even. Soon, I began to feel very very unhappy, all of my anxieties about my academic work, social life and friendships, family issues and my intense passionate crush on a guy in my college (who I am yet to pluck up the courage to talk to) got to me.
Well, now, with the help of a nurse, a doctor, my parents and most importantly, my friends, I have recovered, but with a very different perspective on life. I feel ready to be more open with my friends, as well being more open about meeting new people, and my view on life and friendships in particular has become less idealistic and more realistic.
I think painting might be a good, productive way of expressing myself after this experience- I have always been a very very dreamy person, but for a long time, have been passive, letting the dreams almost take over my life and make me more unhappy. But where to start? I have always been creative and liked art, but haven’t actually done art since the middle of secondary (high) school, 7/8 years ago. I think I might be interested in artists, so can anybody recommend any art history books, as well as books about styles? Moreover, I don’t really know what to paint, but think I may be interested in rather abstract styles- I am not a great drawer!!
Thanks in advance.
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